Once again it has been awhile since my last post but my heart has been burdened and I feel I have to write about it. The news has been filled this year with one tragedy after another and the past two weeks have been brutal, The abortion doctors murder trial, the Boston bombings and the fertilizer factory explosion in Texas are just the tips of the iceberg. As a Christian I know the last chapter of the book and I know that in the end Satan loses but lately he seems to be winning a lot of the battles. Evil seems to be accelerating and I can't help but wonder if the end times may be approaching a little faster than most of us would like to think.
Although there are many days when I am more than ready for the rapture to occur I am not someone who sees the end times around every corner but the events I am seeing has burdened my heart. Those of you who know me, know my hearts desire is to go into full-time ministry and I am burning the candle at both ends trying to expand my credentials while also trying to support my family, yet at times I feel as if I spend so much time studying to be an effective Minister that I have so little time left for actual ministry. Twice in the past month I was able to be used by the Lord to be a part of someone accepting the Lord Jesus as their savior and that is truly what life is all about.
The problem is that as I watch the news and hear about all of the deaths all I can think about is, "How many of the folks were saved?", or even more burdensome"how many are now in hell?" All around me, even in my own family people are going to hell on a daily basis and my time is spent working six overnight shifts a week preparing gourmet salads for people who can afford prices I could never afford. I see the same three or four people every night and believe me they've heard the Gospel and at least one has responded but it is a very small mission field. Than I come home and spend two to four hours doing readings and assignments for Liberty which can occasionally be difficult being a Pentecostal attending a Baptist College. In between I try to get to the gym a few times a week and spend way to much time at doctors, dentists and the chiropractor.
Praise God for Facebook where I do manage a prayer and encouragement ministry between school assignments but I just feel like I should be doing more. I know that my wife Eileen , who I love dearly, my daughter Rosemarie, who I also love, but who is very troubled, and my two grandchildren Xavier and Tapanga who mean the world to me are all counting on my continuing to go to work every night but I just can;t get past the feeling that people are going to hell while I,m making bean salads
I've been told I,m a good preacher, I;ve been told I have a heart for evangelism, and when I used to be on the radio I was told that someone said they like listening to me because I spoke like I was talking right to them, which was my goal. I just have not yet discerned how God is going to work this all out for me and I still need a lot of work in the patience department.
I would like to ask two things of my Christian friends. First, remember, you mission field is wherever you are, God desires no one to go to hell, but He has given us the great commission and we all need to do our part. Second, Help me pray through my current burden and pray for the Lords clear guidance in my life. I know I,ve been called and I am trying to become the best I can for Him, but if I am ready, which I think I am I have to hear His plans for me clearly and If I am not I have to work on my patience Until He says I am ready.
Be Blessed
Hugh
